she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
