Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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