Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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