Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
