If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
