one might say we're banned from that church
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
