Duck Duck Cougar?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
