he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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