Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
