i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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