Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
