I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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