Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
