But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize