i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
