I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
