If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
