So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
