she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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