Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
