Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's blow job season.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
