Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
