mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
