I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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