oh god the rape fog is back!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
