How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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