Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
