Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
