I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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