going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
