just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Alive.
So much puke
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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