i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
