But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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