Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
