but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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