Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
