There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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