ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
