Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
