Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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