Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
