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Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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