I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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