I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
there was a trapeze. enough said
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
