I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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