he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
