It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
