Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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