Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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