honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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