i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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