You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
