just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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