i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
