lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
