u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize