you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
