i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
