A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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