it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
