I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it's like iHOP with fire
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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