I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize