I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
