Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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