Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
