I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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