I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
