Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
