So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
