I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
