i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
