I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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