Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize